With 4 hours to burn, we would have a really good look around Frankfurt Airport with no stress. Looking at the departures board at the train station, we could just make a delayed train to the airport so we jumped on without a moment to spare. Everyone was lifting and hauling suitcases and luggage on board, makes sense, we were off to the airport and it was an ICE, that’s an intercity express and while everyone was fighting for seats, we didn’t bother as we only had a couple of stops and were happy to stand between carriages.

They had a screen listing all the stops so no concerns there, we could see Frankfurt Airport with a little aircraft symbol on it. As I’m feeling pretty relaxed, I’m beginning to feel we are going really fast and whilst Frankfurt Airport is a little way out of the city, the time and speed factor seems a little out. Then the realisation hits me, this train is not going to the airport, I feel that sinking feeling in my stomach, this train is going in the opposite direction on and because it is an ICE, it’s going really fast with limited stops.

We can’t get off, we slow down a little going through stations we don’t stop at before open track again and accelerating to top speed. We are in big trouble now, in only half an hour we are finally getting off at Fulda some 114 kilometres from Frankfurt Airport. We had already worked out via the screen displays the stations the train has already stopped at. What stupid fucking system is this? Who fucking cares where we have been? What matters is where we are going. Today German logic fails me

At least the ICE has WiFi, from that we could start planning the trip back, oh no, this isn’t great. The train stops at 12.07 and there is a train going to Frankfurt Airport departing at 12.47 arriving at the airport at 1.51. Ok, it’s going to be tight but this is manageable as long as there are no further mistakes.

This one was on me, I was the one who spotted the train delay and ran for the train, it was my mistake but with a little planning, we can recover. Oh, you have to be fucking joking, the train is now delayed by at least 45 minutes because someone has thrown themselves on the tracks in front of the train – selfish bastard. Ok, another change of plans, an ICE train departs from platform 3 at 12.50 but travelling to Frankfurt Hbf arriving at 2.07, then rushing to the S-bahn for the 2.12 train arriving at Terminal 1 after boarding has commenced.

We are likely to miss the flight now, I start checking flights, there is one at 10.50 that evening, maybe I can make it back to work on time if the flight isn’t fully booked. Right, the train arrives at Frankfurt Hbf, out the door and we are running for the underground platforms, people moving slowly, get out the way. It’s amazing how slick you can move with a backpack on.

Moving quickly, we actually get an earlier train, we have picked up a few minutes and that helps. The train arrives at Terminal 1, we have already planned our route, more running and zipping around slow moving people. Right, out the skytrain and more running up escalators and stairs, where are the check-in counters?

The check-in line is empty, of course, everyone is already at the boarding gate, we get nasty looks from the counter attendant and instructions to run to the gate, boarding has commenced. Damn, held up in immigration, there is a seedy looking character getting quizzed by officials, ok, another line and now we are through.

At the gate, they have commenced boarding but we are through, we made the flight and I’m not going to miss work after all. Now I can breathe a sigh of relief, we have recovered from my earlier stuff-up and somehow made every little deadline with just minutes to spare each time. Now time to sit back and enjoy the in-flight entertainment with a glass of wine.